bohemian hellhole

Consistently Inconsistent {tiny bathroom, part 2}

Remember the last post...a MONTH ago about tearing out my bathroom floor? I didn't either, and I just had to go back and re-read it to even know where I left off. After I tore out the old floor, it was clear that new plywood had to go down, and then cement board, because that's what you do when you put down tile, and this tile was at a salvage yard, where I immediately bought every one they had.  At $.50 a square foot, it only ended up costing $15 for the whole floor! There were four colors, 'Ivory Coast' {cream}, "French Vanilla' {crackle cream}, 'Lemonade' {buttery yellow}, and 'Ironwood' {olive/grey}. I sort of had some ideas of what I thought I would do with them, but nothing really concrete until I started actually laying them out on the floor to see how they would look. 

First, I overestimated how much of the cream/crackle cream tiles I had. So I added a bunch more olive. 

Then, a wise friend pointed out some things about the above design that bothered her, and so I edited the plan a little more. 

This was it. The final layout. I have exactly one olive tile to spare. The amazing thing is that everything lined up just so, in the center of the room, and the pattern ends so nicely at each end I don't think I could have ever come up with it on my own. The whole process was the result of a very restricted budget, and very limited materials. There is no doubt that if I had a blank check to go out and buy what ever I wanted, the floor would never have turned out this way. In the end, I am glad, even though the Hearst Castle part of my heart would put marble tile everywhere. It's probably for the best that I can't. 

After I planned out the pattern, the real nerd in me took over and I made a 'tile map'. As I was doing this, I wondered if it was worth it, or if I would actually use it. As it turns out, This tile map saved the whole project. I referred to it over and over, and several times corrected mistakes that I was sure I wasn't making, but the map said so... and it was right. The tiles ended up in the right place, pretty much only because of this piece of paper. After each tile was put in place, I crossed off its corresponding letter, so that I could keep track of where I was. 

The real trick to putting these in was that each one is handmade, or something like that. They are all slightly irregular in their shapes. So what? Well, traditional tile spacers weren't cutting it, so I had to sort of eyeball the placement as I went along. Some grout lines are wider than others. All I could hope for was that overall, the anomalies were equally distributed across the whole floor, giving the whole thing a cohesive feel, without one specific area sticking out. I have no idea if I accomplished this, and it most likely won't be evident until all the grouting is done. 

Part way through the floor, I took my piano apart to fix a few keys that weren't playing. You know, just for fun.

While I was putting off installing more tile, I used my favorite wood filler  to start finishing the medicine cabinet. Did I mention that the first section of tile took me four hours? The second took a bit longer, like six, and the last took about five. I suppose it's not that bad if you think that it took half an hour for each square foot... However you look at it, I was sore and tired after each installation. They all took place in the middle of the night too, because it is the only safe time to work with deadly adhesive and sharp tile clippers. 

Here it is, 95% finished! I just need to cut a few more edge pieces, and stick them down with thinset. After this, I can grout, and move on to the rest of the room. Sink, wall trim, paint, lighting, accessories.... 

Waiting for guests to arrive, Alice

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Tiny Bathroom Makeover, In the Beginning

Ten things Alice taught me, #2

Tiny Bathroom Makeover, In the Beginning

{future bathroom curtains...to be completed with some lovely brassy fringe}

When this house was built, the tiny bathroom did not exist. There was some sort of back porch that led to a coal shaft or something where the sink is now. There was no lowered plastic ceiling, or leaky toilet. The lovely flooring was added sometime in the golden age of the 1980's. What we have now, after many poor remodel choices, is a tiny bathroom that terrifies visitors and smells like a barn**. Whenever a guest opens the door for the first time while leaving the bathroom, the plastic ceiling flaps around, making a loud 'thwack!'. Inevitably, a shriek follows. Then silence, then...'that SCARED me!'. I started warning people, but it was confusing, and the same thing still happened. During the summer, I tried opening the window, to lessen the pressure of the door on the bathroom air {hoping to stop the ceiling from 'thwacking'} but it just made the window flap open at the same time. EVEN SCARIER.

{this is the flappy ceiling above the toilet area.}

Smells like a barn, you ask? Yes. It did. Let me tell you why. No one had ever bothered to caulk any toilet in the history of the bathroom to the floor. Ever. If any type of liquid pools on the floor around the base of the toilet, it wants to sneak in the crack between the toilet and floor. Caulking is the fluid barricade. It stops such a thing from happening. It prevents unknown wetness from creeping down into your sub floor, and settling in with a whole extended family of bacteria and....other things. It is very necessary. Let's pretend that say, in 1980, you decide that particle board is a really great sub floor material. Then, after that, you lay some nice sheet vinyl down on top of it, with a spotty application of glue. THEN, you put in a really awesome toilet, and never even consider sealing it to the floor with anything. Fast forward thirty years later and what do you think has become of the particle board?

{the remains of the first layer of flooring}

I know, and it's not pretty. First of all, it's blackened, swollen, and smells just like the cow barns at any county fair. Second, it crumbles everywhere, and turns to horrible cow barn dust that floats around the room. Third, all the nails have rusted heads, so they can't be pulled out. They are little outposts of tetanus, just waiting to be stepped on.

{**Let me just say that all my vehemence towards the floor in no way reflects my excitement about the project, or the gratefulness to those who made it possible.}

So all of that basically describes my week. I took out the floor of the tiny bathroom. I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's afterwards, and probably gained four pounds. I also took out the small strips of wood around the window and trimmed it to match the medicine cabinet. See?
{window trim}

I didn't tell you anything about the medicine cabinet, did I?

If you are interested in long and boring stories about basic math skills, studs in a wall, symmetry debates between me and my oldest son, and hoping no one will notice, read on. Otherwise, skip to the end.

When the idea of messing with the bathroom first came to me, it mostly revolved around storage. Like, how there isn't any in there. I always want a medicine cabinet. Why wouldn't there be one? Where else would one put extra soap, or tweezers, or q-tips, or band-aids, or fingernail clippers? So I thought about it for a while, and figured it would be easy enough. Once I located the studs in the wall, however, it became clear that an inset cabinet would take more effort. To basically center something over the sink, the inset box would have to be narrower than the whole stud bay {space between the studs}...and then it would need to hang out all the way over on the left hand side.  Like this.

Ok, I cut a hole in the wall, with my pocket knife.  I put a box in it, on the left. At this point, my husband and family are coming in to check on my progress with hopeful expressions, and leaving looking confused at best. Actually they look like 'I have no idea what is happening in there'. One of them tried asking me once, but my answer was so long and boring they gave up and walked away.

So, now I have a lopsided box in the wall. What next? I covered up the rest of the hole with plywood, and trimmed it, and eventually will have to sand out all the imperfections in it...{I just left out about a page worth of dry and long winded information. You can thank me later.}

After that, I used some salvaged lumber to trim the plywood face of the box. The wood cost me about $2 at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore, and I had enough to spruce up the window too! After the whole thing was up, I realized that I had very carefully centered the outside trim based on the inset box, not on the whole wall. I meant to center the exterior on the wall, when in fact the trim is shifted a little to the right. My son told me he would never be able to even go in the room with the cabinet the way it was ~ but I was not about to take everything down and start over for a measly half inch. Maybe one inch. I think it is ok, and I am hoping no one will notice, especially since the light fixture is on the left wall anyway, and think I can balance it a little with the sink as well.

{a very off center picture of the off center cabinet...}

The last part of my trim adventure is to build a cabinet above the toilet for extra TP, hand towels, etc, that I would rather not see. This should also solve the interesting lighting conundrum that is happening above the toilet 'wing' of the bathroom. Another post, another day.

 Cutting plywood and eating pancakes, Alice

Getting ahead, after falling behind

Christmas was a doozy this year. I mean it. On one hand, we had a wonderful month of memory making, time with friends and family, and we celebrated Gods gift to humankind. On the other hand, all regular household activities were put on hold in the name of making presents and going places, resulting in a big mess. So, in the aftermath of wrapping paper and flattened cardboard, I am still picking up the pieces of the season.
Tubs of lights and garlands have been packed, the tree has been cut up into bits, the nutcrackers have been safely tucked away in tissue blankets, and this year's Santa picture fiasco is filed away with it's predecessors. It is always a relief to clean up and start over, although over the last couple weeks I felt like I was trying to pick up a trick quarter that has been stuck to the floor with epoxy. We all had a gross cold, the garbage didn't get picked up, so there were bags of holiday trash lying in the kitchen, I swear the basement is infested with drain flies, and no one can ever find anything to wear. I felt like giving up and running away.

But then I had a bright spot, a day that smelled like spring, hope was in the air and I was given the ok to re-do a bathroom in our house. {not that re-doing a bathroom should affect me that much...} The idea of working on something, to move forward, to create a space that feels like home, even just entertaining the idea was motivating in other areas. I know I have issues.

photo via amber interior design
I found an Adrian sconce at the bins,  this picture on pinterest, and the bathroom makeover was born.

The plan is to trim out the walls, paint the paneling in my favorite shade of grey {Linen}, swap out the existing light with the Adrian, and hopefully find the perfect sink. If I am very fortunate in my hunting, I will find some amazing flooring and a medicine cabinet or two. Since it is such a small room, it shouldn't take a long time.

 The real trick will be to get ahead on some of the regular housework that has been neglected for the last month, so that I can do some projects without the cloud of unfinished jobs hanging over me. I am going to try to do a pre-spring clean, one week per room. This week we are starting with bedrooms. Garbage, laundry, clutter, clean, accessorise. {in that order} In theory it is a sound plan, so as long as we can stick with it, we will be in good shape in a few weeks.

Looking for my studfinder, Alice

Happy 2014!

via crazy frankenstein
No. I am not dead. I did not get abducted by aliens, nor was I sent undercover into a false government organization. I do not have a chronic illness. However, I have been working day and night on Christmas presents that I could not blog about, since they needed to be a surprise. I started one of these projects last September, and finished up two days before Christmas! All of that to say, I missed you. I missed writing, even though as Dr. Ian Sussman puts it: "Blogging is not writing, it's graffiti with punctuation."

It seems appropriate to make a new William Morris List for 2014, although looking back over last years list will be fairly disheartening, since I barely made a dent in it. I think being in this big old house for almost a year has taught me a few things about myself, mostly that I am easily overwhelmed. I hate being told what to do, but if no one tells me what to do, I don't do anything. I must be six years old. When you're six, everything is too hard to do on your own. {except make a big mess. I can do that in my sleep.}

After I take a few pictures I will post a little on my Filson inspired book bags I made for my husband and son, along with the imaginary company that all my Christmas gifts came from. I feel like Santa in Elf, now that this year is over, I better start working on next years presents! That is, if I want to get them done in time... In the mean time, I purchased some supplies for working on the next stages of my painting restoration project, and I hope to get a good studio space set up in the basement soon. 

What about you? Do you have any big projects planned for this year? I would love to hear about them.

Cutting up the Christmas tree, Alice

Hello, Turkey Lurkey {this fox is going to eat you}

When my husband and I were first married, I admit, I wouldn't touch raw meat. If we were trying to roast a turkey, chicken, etc he had to clean it out for me. The thought of giblets made me shudder. Pulling out the neck was enough to make me vomit. It's been almost 9 years now, and I realized today as I prepared to write this, that I've come a long way! I had some help though, from The Joy of Cooking. 

It was a copy my mother-in-law gave my then boyfriend when we moved away to attend college. It became my bible as I fumbled in the kitchen trying to figure out how to cook. I think it appealed to me because it was so well organized and not full of just recipes, but actual basics on how to cook anything and everything. Eventually I consulted it on how to cook a turkey during our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. I loved what I learned and it removed any fear I'd had about the seemingly insurmountable task of cooking a holiday turkey. 

Here is my guide to cooking a giant Thanksgiving Day turkey, adapted from the Joy of Cooking... along with some of my own rules:

1. No baking twine.
2. You do NOT need a dish with a lid.
3. Nope, not even foil to cover it.
4. Absolutely NO plastic turkey bags.
5. Basting is optional.

It will be juicy. It will not be dry. It will not take a whole day. You can do this.

Make sure your turkey is thawed on time. When you're ready to bake, preheat your oven to 45OF. To calculate how early to start heating your oven, see Cooking Times below.

Get a baking dish that will fit the turkey, even if just barely. Mine is often touching every side of the dish, with the legs just barely fitting inside {point being I will not buy a special giant holiday-specific dish to use once a year and then have store the rest of the time}. Have it ready right next to the sink so you can quickly relocate the bird to the dish after its bath.

Bath time: After taking your turkey out of its bag, remove the gizzards, neck, and metal leg clip thing. Rinse the bird inside and out and drain it really well. Then pat it dry with paper towels... throw those away. Right away.

 

Put the turkey in its dish on its back. The legs should mostly fit in the dish. {I stuff the wings down so they are kind of pinched in place instead of hanging out of the dish.} Totally optional, you smother it in butter. I like to just get a big glob on a butter knife and then spread it all over, with big hunks in the "armpit" and the thigh nook. For bacteria's sake, don't double dip your knife in the butter. 

 

Lastly and optional, season it on the outside with sea salt and black pepper. 

Time for the oven! Your oven should be preheated to 450 F. You start it at a high temperature so that when you put your bird in the oven, it crisps the skin and outer parts locking in the juices. Once your turkey is in the oven, reduce the temperature down to 350F. If it’s a very large bird, which most Thanksgiving Day turkeys are (like mine), you can go as low as 325 F. 

After calculating baking times {see below}, make sure you start checking the temperature of the inner thigh muscle with a meat thermometer on the lower end of the suggested baking time to prevent overcooking and pulling the classic "the turkey is too dry". You can baste every 10 minutes during cooking as suggested in the book, or you could not do it. I don’t, except at the very end for good measure. I’m not convinced in any way that this actually makes a difference. I don't want to be stuck doing this for 3 + hours so I don't! 

How do you know when it's finished? The books suggests the internal temperature should be about 180-185 F. I have found that temperature leaves the turkey too dry. And my very reliable source has confirmed this suspicion. So I pull the turkey at 160-165 F and it was exactly right. Another test suggested is to jiggle the drumstick and see if the joint is loose which would indicate readiness. 

After it's finished cooking, pull it out and place it on a heat-safe surface, covering it with foil to keep warm and let rest, where it will continue to climb in temperature. I also like to snuggle it with dish towels. But that's just me, and not necessary. 

Here is the finished turkey, which I regret never got a fancy chance at the dinner table. I cut my finger pretty badly upon carving it... so don't do that Thursday, ok? 

 

COOKING TIMES

Birds up to 6 lbs, 20-25 minutes per pound

Birds larger than this are about 15-20 minutes per pound

Birds larger than 16 lbs are about 13-15 minutes per pound

*If you plan on stuffing your turkey while baking, the book says to add 5 minutes per pound.

 

Since everyone knows how to properly accompany and eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, I won't offer any serving suggestions. But I will suggest that you make a batch of my delicious Meyer Lemon Cranberry Sauce! As for dessert, I will try my hand at a gluten free version of this deep dish apple pie for Thursday.

 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

xo Sunshine

When There's Nothing Left to Burn

I'll have to set myself on fire.

Here I am, over my head in responsibilities, duties, projects, unanswered phone calls, long overdue doctors appointments, people to feed, and I am trolling craigslist. For old frames. That aren't even free. I could be trying to find a piece of art to fill this frame that is currently hanging empty on my wall, OR {earth shattering news} I could work on the big gold frame in my basement that is mid-restoration. But why? When I can find more empty frames that are in partial disrepair, look like they've come from Grey Gardens, and take all of my spending money? At some point, the madness will end.

In the mean time, I found an existing nail hole in my wainscoting and hung this one up next to my desk. The thinly sliced wood mirror backing {the original mirror was broken by it's former owner, which is why the frame was for sale.} almost looked like fabric or cork, and with a few postcards and drawings tucked in the edges, it was right at home. Eventually I think it would be nice to put some proper art inside the frame, but that would take more craigslist stalking {which I desperately hope will turn out like this, but I doubt it}.

Disinfecting my washing machine, Alice

 

Feel My Steel, Keep It Reel!

Last weekend Portland had a rainstorm. You know- the kind that local news name with ridiculous titles like 'Fall Squall 2013!', and then repeat 'Fall Squall 2013!' about two thousand times an hour for the duration of any inclement weather? I suppose it was actually a storm, our power was out for a couple hours and there was plenty of rain, but honestly, it wasn't that bad. When the power came back on it was a little anti-climactic, and I suggested we just turn everything off again {except the fire}...nobody else thought it was a very good idea. In the middle of the power outage, I really wanted coffee though, so we ventured out to find a Starbucks that still had it's lights on. While we were driving, we passed an estate sale, and thought...Why not? Estate sale during 'Fall Squall 2013!'? It sounds perfect.

My mom found this little table, which was really well priced and rather charming, so we bought it, put it in the back of the van, and continued on our search for coffee. Unfortunately, I didn't do a very good job placing it in the cargo area, because when we opened up the door to put in some groceries, the table fell out and fell into two pieces.

I just waved it aside 'I can fix it! Whatever it is, it can be mended...' but my mom was pretty disappointed. Her cute little table found a very comfortable corner in our parlor, where it waited for me to repair it. I called a friend about borrowing some long clamps, but I never got around to picking them up from her. Instead, while watching the Aquabats Super Show {because that's what super cool bloggers do all day long}, I was inspired to be a little more innovative about fixing the table. What would a trucker do? Well, apparently, a trucker would be buying hats at a truck stop, along with many other useful items, like ratchet tie down straps.

'Wait! I have those!'

Late at night I had a vision of 'clamping' the table with those straps and some towels. It was very exciting.

So, armed with an Amp, some tools you might recognize from my painting restoration, and Elmer's Glue, I got to work. What I noticed was, this table was ALREADY broken. The fall from the car had merely loosened a previously glued joint and crack. No wonder it fell apart so easily! The first thing to do was to see if the glue was reversible, so I sprayed the repairs with water to see if the glue would become white or tacky. Sure enough {whew!} the glue got sticky and gummy, and I was able to clean most of it out with my little picks.

Next, I just re-glued it with Elmer's. {not the high end choice, but still, reversible, and best of all-I already had some.}

Just as I had envisioned, I used the ratchet tie downs to clamp the table top to the legs, protecting the top with some tea towels. I was able to get the straps quite tight and even. After the glue cures for a few days, I will take them off and the whole thing will be as good as new.

Up All Night,Wicked Tight,

Alice

 

Trick Chair

 

We have used old wooden rolling desk chairs as seating around our dining room table for about ten years now. Just writing that down makes me a dinosaur. One of these chairs belonged to my mom, one came from a garage sale, another from craigslist, and the last was a trade. Each one has it's own set of quirks, and nearly all of them have had their wheels replaced at one point or another. If enough people sit and roll around in a chair with casters, sooner or later there are little tiny ball bearings all over the floor and your seat is stuck like a shopping cart outside of Winco. 

Moving on. One of these chairs, the one that was my moms, has been particularly difficult in the wheel department. No matter what I have done, the casters either break quickly, or fall out every time you look at them. I bought some 'good' wheels for this chair a couple years ago, and they haven't broken, but they drop out of their sockets daily. If you have ever been to my house, sat down and attempted to scoot closer to the table in this chair, you know exactly what happens. A wheel falls out as you tip precariously to one side, spilling coffee all over your lap.

Replacing the faulty wheel just encourages another one to fall out, like a miserable game of Whac-A-Mole. I usually try to sit in that chair myself, and so avoid any guest catastrophes. Yesterday I had enough. {The sense of impending doom I felt after skimming the daily news gave me some extra motivation to busy myself in something I could control, and that resulted in the irresistible compulsion to fix the wheels on the trick chair}

Want to know how I did it? In true Macguyver style, I just tore an index card that was at arms reach into quarters, and wrapped one piece around each wheel peg. It worked so well that I couldn't even pull them back out again to photograph for you. It took about thirty seconds. YEARS have passed with cursing and wobbling, when all it took was some scrap paper and a government shutdown.

Looking for a good cookie recipe, Alice

 

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Welcome October, William Morris, and bad weather

Unearthing my Pre-Pinterest Archives

I wish someone would develop a special laser weapon, specifically designed for home use. It would have different settings like 'Garbage', 'laundry', 'toys', 'paperwork', 'you will NEVER use this, ever', 'it might as well be garbage', and so on. Then, there would be a little switch that you could use to select, 'collect' or 'destroy'. I would use that laser every day.

Yesterday was part of 'clean out the basement' week*. I determined to unload at least one box of unknown contents and get rid of as much as I could. The goal down there is to have a big open space for bike riding, and skateboarding. Why? To provide the boys an alternative to complete cabin fever this winter, and save me from heavy medication.


We succeeded in opening up a large area for dangerous indoor activities, we also grouped things together like tools and camping gear, and even kept up on the laundry. In the middle of the shuffle, I came across my notebooks full of magazine clippings that I have been collecting.....for a  very long time. Way before Pinterest, there were sheet protectors and three ring binders.

I don't have sources for each page, but I am a creature of habit, and usually only buy one of a few magazines. Domino, Elle Decor {a subscription I started in late Jr. High, when normal girls were reading Seventeen, and learning the best way to apply mascara, I was reading up on wallpaper, furniture placement, and the best way to hang art....}, Elle Decoration, Living, Etc, or the Australian issues of whatever I can get my hands on. These are a few of the images that caught my eye as I flipped through one of the notebooks.

Looking through all the photos I have gathered over the years was really interesting. I expected to see quite a bit of disparity among them, but actually, they seemed to all be fairly related, in some way. Its sort of like looking at my Pinterest board, only... more relaxing. I can't click on any of my pages and get lost in an online labyrinth of things I can never buy or accomplish. I just get inspired to work with what I have to create a space that I love being in.

Back to work, Alice

*The whole basement would have been finished in about ten minutes if I only had my laser.

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Welcome October, William Morris, and bad weather

Welcome October, William Morris, and bad weather

Hello all my long lost internet friends! I actually have missed you. For real. The truth is, I have been adding, and adding, to what I do each day to the point that I can't even think about what I need to do! Guess what, I just decided to add two more things in. When I'm busy, it seems like I get more done, as I write that down it seems like rocket science. Brain surgery. Amazing. Lately, the most obvious things are like magic to me, so just skim over all this nonsense and start reading when I get to the point. A long time ago, Jules started up 31 days of William Morris, and I gladly joined in. Then, it became a year long project, which I thought was fantastic, so I joined in that too. The second year, I petered out, frankly. Moving, and babies, and summer, and then school starting, and I have forgotten to blog at all. I still did lots of projects, I promise. Did I document them? Nope. Do I even remember them all? Not really. So, I am starting back at the beginning, hoping it is like a defibrillator to my brain. 31 days of William Morris. I don't even think Jules is doing it this year, {oops, just checked. her project is 31 days of little things} and she's also doing 31 days of Eat at Home, on Instagram {#eatathome}. I promised a friend I would do that too. Why not? What else am I doing, other than staying indoors, staring at the northwest gloom.

Instead of trying to catch up on all I left out over the past several weeks, I am just starting today, with a project I did yesterday. This is something that has been on the back burner, but driving me insane, ever since we moved into this house. Our bedroom has had sheets tacked into the window, rather than curtains. I sewed all the curtains for the main level of the house, and made sure the bathroom window was covered, and then I totally quit working on windows. But after a couple months, the tacks started falling out of the window frame, and the sheets would attack me every time I went to bed. Why not just leave them down? We are on the second story, and it's fairly private...except for the giant streetlight right outside that burns our eyes while we are trying to watch Breaking Bad. That light requires a sheet, or a curtain, or a garbage bag, or something. I sold some vintage Fluevogs on Ebay, and they provided me with exactly $1 more than I needed to buy a pair of curtains from Urban Outfitters, that unfortunately could not be substituted, no matter how much I tried to resist spending money on a new retail item.
When they came in the mail, they were PERFECT! I was so excited, it was embarrassing. I took pictures of them in the dark, because I was too impatient to wait for good lighting to post them. They are friendly with the light, the rug, the painting....not the carpet, because nothing can be friends with old stinky carpet, but at least they distract. 

The curtains are not incredibly light blocking, so I got a cheap pull down shade from Fred Meyer, and it fit like a glove behind the fabric, you can't even tell it's there unless you are watching TV late at night....not that I ever do that.

Last night we were just bemoaning the near impossibility of finding an item that is functional, beautiful and free. Success! First, I got it done, second, I paid in trade with boots, third, the end result is very satisfying to look at and it functions well.

Watching my crock pot, Alice